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Does the Black church place enough value on mental health? If so, why is there still so much stigma in the Black church related to mental health? In Episode 6, I interview Thomas Warren, Jr. a Clinical Mental Health Case Manager and servant of the Farmers Branch Church of Christ who talks about stress management and the future of ministry work for young adults.
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[00:00:00] Amberly R. Carter: Welcome back to a new season of the faith and beauty podcast. Aren’t you excited? I know I am. We are here for a new episode, but before we get into it. I have to share some really good news with you. Faith for beauty has a 30 day fitness challenge that you absolutely must check out for yourself. And the 30 day challenge you were focusing on.
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[00:02:12] Hope to see you on the inside. Okay. Let’s hop into our next episode.
[00:02:21] Hey team, I’m here to introduce to you our first of many guests, that happens to be a male, right? So this’ll be our first interview with a male on our show. We have not had any men on our side. Until now. And so I’m really excited to share with you this person and, you know, I wouldn’t bring you anybody who I didn’t feel really had sound doctrine really has some great information to share with you.
[00:02:48] And so I’m here to introduce to you, Mr. Thomas Warren, Jr. Who has worked in the field of education for a number of years, serving in different capacities at east [00:03:00] Texas Baptist University, while earning his Masters of Art. He graduated from ETB view in May 2018, with a degree in clinical mental health counseling.
[00:03:11] Mr. Warren is a member of psychiatry, the international honor society in psychology. He is currently employed as a clinical mental health case manager. And currently, Mr. Warren is pursuing his Texas clinical mentor. License with a desire to provide evidence-based services to children, adolescents, and adults in a clinical setting.
[00:03:36] His intent is to work on strategies that will allow clients to address the root cause of difficulties while building meaningful social connections. Thomas, his approach to counseling encompasses a belief that people are strong and resilient. He also believes that people know themselves. By combining the individual’s expertise with his expertise, [00:04:00] positive outcomes lead to achieving solutions.
[00:04:03] So Thomas is a servant to the city view, Church of Christ and farmers, branch, Texas. And we couldn’t be more happier to have Thomas on the show. I got so much from this interview and I cannot wait for you to hear it. So let’s get into. So welcome back to the face of beauty podcast. I’m super excited today to bring on a guest who I actually met through Facebook, just perusing and connecting with different people in the church of Christ.
[00:04:33] And I saw that he was doing some great work with the young adults ministry. And Texas and, you know, some great things come out of Texas, big things come out of Texas. Right. And I just saw the ministry work that he was doing and was really amazed that the excitement and the commitment that he had towards really bringing young people along and bringing them into the fold and doing this work as Christians.[00:05:00]
[00:05:00] And so I was really inspired. And I know that we haven’t brought any men on our podcast before, but I think this is a great time to introduce someone who can be a great ally to the work that we do as women in the church. And so today I bring Thomas Warren Jr. From Texas, and I’m really excited to have him.
[00:05:20] Everybody. You have to get to know him. We’re going to talk to him a little bit about his, his background, and I want to give a warm welcome to you today, Mr. Warren, Jr. How.
[00:05:32] Thomas Warren, Jr.: Oh, I’m doing great. Doing great. Thank you so much for having
[00:05:35] Amberly R. Carter: me. Thank you for joining our podcast. I know you’re going to bring some great knowledge to us.
[00:05:41] This is may is mental health awareness month, and that’s another great reason why we brought you on, because we know that you have a background with clinical mental health counseling. And that can be very helpful to us women in the work that we do, not just for ourselves, but the people that we work with.
[00:05:59] [00:06:00] And, you know, we’re trying to do this work and we got to take care of ourselves and work on our self care and taking care of managing our stress that we deal with daily. Right.
[00:06:10] Thomas Warren, Jr.: Absolutely.
[00:06:12] Amberly R. Carter: Great. So let’s just get to know a little bit about you. You know, as I mentioned before, Texas has a really strong young adults ministry in general, not even like, even outside of the church of Christ, I’m seeing a lot of.
[00:06:25] Churches do innovative things, especially since the pandemic hit. And, you know, just trying to, I don’t want to say stay relevant, cause like God’s word is always relevant. Right. But, but like really stay connected to the community and addressing the needs that the community has. And so seeing the work that you’ve done with young adult ministry, you know, inside and out of the black church, Tell us how you came to be over the young adults ministry for city view, Church of Christ.
[00:06:56] Thomas Warren, Jr.: Absolutely. So I started. A platform called [00:07:00] open mic night in May of 2020, right around the peak of COVID-19. I always had a strong passion for mentorship and helping people. And before 2020 throughout my throughout college, you know, people always said I was the go-to guy when it comes to just handling business in the classroom.
[00:07:17] I always engage with others that helping networking with other professionals and, and, you know, in college and in amongst the workplace while being a full time. Constitute an athlete. I served many roles in academic. environment and coaches also kept me on track academically, spiritually, mentally.
[00:07:34] And so upon graduation, I was able to steal like all the teachings and valuable information to transform the lives of people in this world. And so I was, I remember being at my parents’ house at the peak of the pandemic and. I felt as if I had no direction, I felt like everything I worked for was it in plain sight.
[00:07:50] And it was March, 2020 right in the middle COVID-19 pandemic when the entire world was shaking. The 2020 has been a horrific year with many deaths [00:08:00] loss of jobs. And I found myself struggling to find my niche in the community and in the ministry, considering the statewide shut down. So around April 20, 20, God finally answered my prayers.
[00:08:11] You know, I pray just for direction and I wanted to attract young people, but I just didn’t know what to do. So I consult with God in prayer and I continue to pray about God. About how she had handled the situation. And he told me just to trust him, he has faith. And I thought about, you know, family and friends, my church, family.
[00:08:31] And I thought to myself, how can I be an advocate for my young adults in my church and the family and my family and the community. So I immediately began to think about how I could come up with this plan. And so fast forward to now I’ve thought about how I can provide impact in the lives of young adults during this time.
[00:08:47] So I taught, I decided to take a leap of faith and start a platform called open mind. One of the offerings that I give to the community. And so I had open mic night. Young adults are able to engage network and receive quality and inspirational [00:09:00] message by subject matter experts via zoom. And so that’s one of the offerings that I’m doing as a part of the young adult ministry for, for city view to the community.
[00:09:08] And I thank God for the process he’s putting me through because without him, this wouldn’t be possible.
[00:09:13] Amberly R. Carter: Absolutely. And I think at first, when I saw you doing this work, I didn’t even realize that it was young adult ministry work. And I actually reached out to you. It was like, Hey, do you have a young adults ministry at your church?
[00:09:23] And I didn’t even realize that you were over that and that was connected. So I think that’s really great that you have that audience and you’re working with them. And some of the things that I’ve seen you do deal with like financial literacy and even dating, you know, and I think that’s a huge topic. Both are huge topics because young adults are looking for the future.
[00:09:45] And the shape of the future is who you’re going to be partnered with as well as, you know, money. What is that going to look like in the future? What is my life going to look like and how do I get it in order? And you’re helping them to find the resources and to dream bigger, [00:10:00] to think outside of the box and to see that coming from the church specifically, the black church, I think that’s innovative and it’s new and it’s different.
[00:10:10] And it’s, it’s a fresh perspective.
[00:10:13] Thomas Warren, Jr.: Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. You know, I often wonder how often you’re like in youth ministry, young dog. And she said is that we’re actually in conversation with the youth that we come across with and thinking of something to motivate them or challenge them. It’s not an activity for the week, but an inspirational goal to change something, to do something or be something, you know in their lives.
[00:10:33] So, yeah, I’m just glad to be a part of a witness. Challenging topics being discussed and innovative mind sharing and, and walking away with takeaways. So, yeah, it’s been
[00:10:43] Amberly R. Carter: awesome. Right. And I’m so glad that you said it because this season is all about like taboo topics, right. Taboo topics. And I think mental health is one of those taboo topics that we don’t tend to talk about in the church, in the, in the same capacity that we [00:11:00] might talk about it in higher education.
[00:11:02] You know, we talk about mental health alive. Cause the college setting and making sure our students are well 360 wellness. Right. And so we, we have a different perspective as Christians and how you should handle that. When we talk about faith, it can be that toxic positivity that comes out right. Or just lean on the Lord and he’ll help you, you know?
[00:11:24] And, and it’s like, well, what does that actually look like? Like, what are those steps? See myself taking tasks on to do that. Right? Like what does that look like? Make it tangible for me. And so I, I can imagine that it might be difficult to evangelize where faith is such a prominent identity in the south, particularly for young adults.
[00:11:46] Would you say so?
[00:11:48] Thomas Warren, Jr.: Yes. Yes. Difficult, but not impossible. I would say. I’ve from, from a young age offs. I mean, I’ve been a part of evangelists work [00:12:00] through my dad at a very young age and, and I think it all has to do with the mindset of ourselves and Texas at least within the city that raised, you know, Dallas, you know, we’ve been a part of different churches.
[00:12:11] And I think that evangelist. Is wanting to continue that to happen. The method in which we go about it has changed from, from the face-to-face conversation. The shaking, the hand is to come in inside the home and really, really pouring into people, the word in which we know it. Right. So, so I think now the way we go about it is evolving.
[00:12:36] Rise of social media. And that was also some disadvantage to the social media as well. Not everybody has access to it, right. It caused some people to actually be more addicted to the online presence in that because of the decrease in building community, you know, without being face to face and actually seeing that person in that owner environment as they see it.
[00:12:57] So I think it has become difficult, [00:13:00] but I think it’s it’s where can we’ve come along? And the way we approach evangelism. So, so in a, in an area down here, we rely heavily on our failure, especially as, as African-American culture and many other cultures do as well. And the churches, the high technical for many of us.
[00:13:16] So, so we have to be very patient and, and can see you really seek God in prayer, consult with him in our approach.
[00:13:25] Amberly R. Carter: Absolutely love. I’m going to ask you how old are you?
[00:13:30] Thomas Warren, Jr.: I’m 28 years young. I’ll actually be 29 in a couple of weeks. Then when I season shout out,
[00:13:36] Amberly R. Carter: shout out to the gym and I, my birthday is on May 23rd so I can relate.
[00:13:42] Thomas Warren, Jr.: So yeah. Yeah, I think that’s me. So, so this is, this is a good month. I get a lot of flack about Geminis, but Gemini. Pretty good loyal. I got one somebody on my side.
[00:13:59] Amberly R. Carter: [00:14:00] Yes, we are loyal. We’ll have your back to the very end. Yes. So I asked that because I know for some people, when we talk about young adults, people who are in our age group, I identify as young adults, right?
[00:14:15] Cause we’re those who are approaching 30 are in our thirties may not be seen as young adults anymore. Some folks who are young adults, they probably want to say 21 and you know, 21 to 30 maybe would be more of the young adults. And so do you believe that young adults see their future selves and roles within the church from, at that age, like 21?
[00:14:38] Like, do you think those young adults really see themselves. In roles in the church.
[00:14:45] Thomas Warren, Jr.: Yeah, I actually, I have, I’ve been actually amazed from what I’ve seen through many different people at other churches. So I, and I love the innovative minds and I think some do I believe that most people who were raised and brought up in the church start [00:15:00] off witnessing maybe up, you know, kind of learning up under someone’s name.
[00:15:06] At a very young age and able to kind of branch out other to kind of create their own church plant and administer to a group of people there. I do see a lot of young adults, a lot of use the now seeing their future selves enrolled. And I think that we do a disservice this service to, to the kingdom of God when we don’t allow our youth To flourish and elevate and their creativity.
[00:15:32] I think as, as a body of believers, we are to really cultivate them and wrap them under our wings and allow them to express themselves because we won’t, if we don’t know, I mean, you don’t ask and how would we know? Because I believe in, you know, all the medicines we see, you have to be on TV and our local churches started from somewhere.
[00:15:50] They learned something from somebody, you know what I mean? And I don’t think we really, really think about it. What they’ve maybe witness what they’ve gone through, what [00:16:00] they’ve learned because a lot of the activities or the life groups that you see maybe has to have to have started from experience, or maybe through the voice of a young person.
[00:16:11] And it could be that same young person that is leading, leading those groups. So I do, I do believe that in my, in my opinion While still giving them guidance. Of course you still give them guidance and pro, but providing them freedom. And so for the most part, I say yes. Most young adults have a desire to be, to be challenged, to have fun, and also to be, to know that they’re still wanted in the ministry.
[00:16:35] And so, so we have to be very careful and really how we received our young adults. Because again, they may come from battered homes even dealing with mental health struggles and they may need just a church where they can go to feel safe. So, so you start there. I’m very personable and I really love to get to know people where they are.
[00:16:54] And find some commonality with them. And most importantly, be patient and don’t label because there may be a [00:17:00] part, you know, there may be something, maybe a barrier, that’s a part of who they are, but it’s not who they are specifically. So, so I think we have to really open our hearts and minds to see what is really going on in our youth and allow them the freedom and, and give them guidance on ways that can enhance the kingdom.
[00:17:20] Amberly R. Carter: Absolutely. Young people get a bad rep in the church. Right? So full disclosure, I was in a Bible class and I was highly offended. I had to check myself because I was finished by one of the brothers who was giving the lesson. And he started really getting on the young adults and saying that we were absent and not present.
[00:17:40] And all I could think about was all of the people who were on the call in that moment. Right? Like this is on zoom. And I’m thinking about all of the young people who were actually present. Who I believe, identify as young adults who were doing work like myself. And then I had several cousins on there and then our [00:18:00] own assistant minister is in his twenties.
[00:18:03] Right. And our music minister, our people on our praise team. And I’m just thinking about all the ways that we contribute to the worship service. It’s. And then also the ministry works throughout the weekend, you know, the work that we do for outreach. And so I think that there’s really a lack of evidence to prove that we’re not right.
[00:18:28] And so what evidence do you think we have to support the idea that we actually. Do the work and the
[00:18:33] Thomas Warren, Jr.: church. Yeah, I think about scripture, you know, serving, serving young people can not only prepare them to be future, become future leaders, but also allow them to contribute to the church. This has seen many times in the Bible as God often uses on people to do great things.
[00:18:48] Right. For example, God used Timothy, right. You know, Timothy to pass their lead to if he’s in church when he was a young teenager So first Timothy four and 12 said, don’t, don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but [00:19:00] set an example for the believers in speech and conduct in love.
[00:19:04] That’s the key word and love and faith and impurity. And so I think God’s heart for young people because of God’s heart. For, for young people, it is important to recognize their value in today’s church. And then as you mentioned, you know, young people are leading are starting to lead, you know, losing ministries technology.
[00:19:20] Right, because at some point, and I, and I, and I was joking, you know, my, my father was really struggling when the whole pandemic happened and navigating this social media, Zu is all this connectivity stuff. And then I could tell it took a toll on him and he would, you know, any very well kind of, kind of let me drive for most of that.
[00:19:40] And you got to think about whether where the church is headed and the need for leaders and youth ministry and in charge. And and so. The church Chaz to go on and wow, you’d need guys that support men or women. Christ-like leaders are needed to serve young [00:20:00] members as well of the congregation to help them reach their full potential.
[00:20:02] And I think about another scripture in Matthew eight and two and four, I’m not gonna read it all. Was that he called the little child to him. The child among them. And he said, truly, I tell you, unless you change the kind of like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. So we have to understand that the church is going to go on and it has to go on and we have to be, we have to be trustworthy.
[00:20:26] You have to be trust. You have to put ourself as that and put off what tries to God to know like, Hey, I cannot do this work forever. There have to be someone that could tell. Right. The church and continuing to let it, to let it floors physically physical as leave. We get nowhere. We have no control over that.
[00:20:44] So we have to plan and be flexible with God’s timing in that.
[00:20:48] Amberly R. Carter: Wonderful. Thank you for sharing that. Yeah. Before we transitioned it to really talking about why you’re here today, mental health. I want to just get to know you a little bit better. Right? So let’s talk about [00:21:00] some fun stuff. Like the fact that you wear crazy socks, right?
[00:21:04] How did you develop your love for crazy socks?
[00:21:07] Thomas Warren, Jr.: Crazy socks, crazy stock turns these stocks. It’s just, when you look at them, I just, I perk up, you know, I, I love crazy colorful stuff. Outrageous colors and neon green. I mean, I’ll wear ’em as authors. I’ll wear them in the gym. If I just happened to get my other socks, I put them on and I think I just fell in love with them because I put them on for the first time I actually saw I saw in church, I would see a lot of men wearing and I was like, huh?
[00:21:37] I said, that looks good. And I just love the way they. Are these notes shows
[00:21:45] Amberly R. Carter: ankles, size dress,
[00:21:47] Thomas Warren, Jr.: and they like have sock. They come up, they come up all the way to your CAS. Some would say two sides, but now they’re that clean? I mean, Hey, the logo on was nice. The polo. The Ralph Lauren and all that. The Tommy Hilfiger.[00:22:00]
[00:22:02] I have a couple of parallels. My feet feel good right now.
[00:22:06] Amberly R. Carter: So just grab your craziest pair of socks for me.
[00:22:09] Thomas Warren, Jr.: Tracy’s parents stocks. Oh, actually we have started to go. My, this was gifted to me. It was a SpongeBob. I’m not a fan of spice. So I may, I may, I may use some millions of bodies on there, but I wear them because they’re different.
[00:22:26] They actually keep me, keep me motivated, you know, in the work that I do. And I’ll talk about that later. It keeps me lightened. It keeps me confident and it keeps me last. And, you know, cause I get compliments on them and that’s also a good ice breaker. Like, are you wanting to have those on time? They don’t match, but they feel good to me like our library.
[00:22:46] That’s
[00:22:46] Amberly R. Carter: my favorite. When you wear these crazy socks, you’re wearing them to the gym. Do people stare at you?
[00:22:52] Thomas Warren, Jr.: If they do. I I, cause I got my hair. Exactly. And I, and I don’t know. And I, I seen, I [00:23:00] haven’t been the only one in the gym wearing crazy socks. I always see him. They might not be as loud as the one I have on, but, but maybe there’s clear.
[00:23:09] They’re close enough.
[00:23:10] Amberly R. Carter: Well, like you said, it’s an attention grabbing moment. So maybe somebody will see them and approach you and that’ll be an opportunity for you to evangelize. Exactly. I love it. Thank you. So thanks for sharing a little bit about yourself and I think it brings a little bit of lightheartedness to the topic of mental health, right?
[00:23:31] Oh yeah. All right. So tell us a little bit about, you know, what does the Bible tell us about stress management and self-care?
[00:23:41] Thomas Warren, Jr.: Oh yeah. Yeah. So life is stress. Life is stress. They go, they go hand in hand. And I, I define mental health is really, I look at it as a holistic approach. If one is all, then the rest of the body is off.
[00:23:59] If your spirituality [00:24:00] is all, maybe your emotions are all right. You know, you’re doing life with purpose with half of you attending, you know, be at worship, being your you’re, giving your all to your job, not knowing the effects it’s causing on you. Physically weight gain, maybe lack of sleep inadequate sleep and even communication like frustration is it was causing you to have a lot of stress.
[00:24:25] We, we, we will experience lots and lots of stress in our life, and there is no getting around it. I believe that the degree to which we effectively manage. We’re stressing our lives would determine the degree to which we are healthy. If we turn to unhealthy behaviors to cope with the stress our physical and emotional health will suffer and many people turn to food as a way to cope with stress.
[00:24:46] Others turn to the use of drugs sometimes to alcohol. Still others light up a cigarette, some in Burnham and are all surfing the internet and pay for it the next day, because they have had inadequate sleep. Long ago, [00:25:00] Jesus told his followers, right? And Matthew 11 and 28 days already come to me. All of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.
[00:25:08] I don’t know any more effective technique to get a handle on the stress in my life. You know, then to turn to Jesus, you know, God designed you. He designed me in a way that our spirit, mind, and body or react together in a marvelous way where you feel tense and anxious and quote unquote, head.
[00:25:25] Instead of heart and mind on Jesus. So I think God knew that Jesus was our antidote for stress, you know, not drugs, food, alcohol, and the internet. I think that’s why he inspired Matthew to capture and write about Jesus, a short teaching on this topic. And so, you know, how, how do we come to Jesus? Well, you know, there’s a couple of things we can do.
[00:25:43] We can pray. We can listen to inspirational music. We can sit or walk quietly and listen for his voice. When we get on, we get on our knees, right. And pour out our heart to him. We can read his word, the Bible, and we, we do this. He promise that [00:26:00] he will give us rest.
[00:26:03] Amberly R. Carter: No greater promise than that. No,
[00:26:06] Thomas Warren, Jr.: not at all.
[00:26:08] Amberly R. Carter: So are there any bad examples or good examples, even of people who experienced stress in the Bible?
[00:26:18] Thomas Warren, Jr.: Yeah, I think, well, Jesus himself comes to my mind, you know, do use themselves lead experienced stress. Now I don’t know if that’s a good or bad example. I really think it’s, it’s a little bit of, I think it’s more good and it’s bad.
[00:26:32] You know, Jesus, I’m a guy who took on human flesh to really have the hardest tasks ever given one that would determine eternity for every person God created. Jesus knows what stress is. And I think he exemplified and then the Bible teaches us that he was going through a period of anguish. And, and Jesus, he knew exactly what would be lost.
[00:26:52] If any reason he failed in his mission, we would be lost if he failed, we would not have a choice to accept him as our savior. You know, it would mean [00:27:00] that every one of us would have no hope of spending eternity in heaven. If anyone was ever under pressure to accomplish his mission, it would have been Jesus, you know, the night he was portrayed, we can hear the stress and anxiety cause he went body felt as, as he prayed for God to take this cup, you know, the task of going through the cross away from him.
[00:27:19] Yeah, I think Jesus was so was under so much stress that the Bible said he’s sweating drops of blood while he was praying. That’s that’s that is, that makes you kind of feel uncomfortable and. You know really feelings of confusion or shock, or even like, wow moment. Then that’s a step in the right direction to know that even us as humans, now we will deal with it and we have different sources of stress.
[00:27:45] But that’s a really good example of what Jesus experienced as we know it. What mission he was tasked with the source of that stress was knowing he was going to die for something that wasn’t his fault. But he didn’t. That burden. And he got on his knees and he knew what to do. And that was the [00:28:00] prey.
[00:28:01] Amberly R. Carter: Absolutely. And even talk about how he went out to pray and he came back and his disciples were asleep and he was like, are y’all still sleeping? Like how can you sleep at a moment like this? Like, I can just imagine that being the feeling that he had.
[00:28:16] Thomas Warren, Jr.: Yeah, absolutely.
[00:28:18] Amberly R. Carter: Yeah. So historically there has been a sticky.
[00:28:22] And the black community around mental health. Do you, do you believe that the black church may have a significant influence on those beliefs?
[00:28:34] Thomas Warren, Jr.: I believe we are better now, but not where we can be. I believe we have came a long way. I think the church has placed more value and I’ll speak on behalf of, of. My experience as a child being in church, most of my life and attending different activities, it was always a quote or the statement, pray about it, or just have faith.
[00:28:57] You know, don’t worry about it. And that causes a [00:29:00] foundational issue in and out of itself. But the reality of it is it is true. And so, so, you know, kind of have to define that. What is that, what does that word mean? What is stigma? And from a definitional standpoint, The fine. Doesn’t mark. Disgraces so associated with the particular circumstance, quality of person.
[00:29:17] And most of the time we use the word stigma does not always go to the level of, of disgrace and stigma is that powerful word. And I think we have to continue to, to one, be inclusive to our, our people, our faith community the community, when one comes in to the box. Experiencing bouts of fear about the depression.
[00:29:38] It may not be clinically diagnosed. It could just mean that they lost their job. For example, when they’re dealing with sadness, right. Brief, you know, isolation or eating disturbances for example. So I think in a nutshell that the black community like definitely have a significant impact on that, but I think I’ve seen a lot more.
[00:29:59] Even the other day on [00:30:00] social media, I’ll see more mental health workshop happen, you know, maybe because it is may mental health awareness month, but that’s a start, you know, that’s a start in the right direction. First. It’s just having that education being inclusive and welcoming meeting people where they are and knowing that the church is behind them.
[00:30:15] Why aren’t you percent? So, so it’s, I believe it’s slowly becoming more marketable More open and allowing people to have a conversation. And that builds community that builds someone who has one struggling and having a diagnosis, or maybe not having some similarities and some common commonalities too, to share with one another.
[00:30:34] And that helps, you know, that may help spark the conversation, help them feel safe.
[00:30:38] Amberly R. Carter: Absolutely. And I’m just thinking of like, what phrases can we actually use? You know? So we don’t come across as insensitive or giving that toxic positivity of, you know, just pray about it and everything will be okay. But really like what are some ways that we, as members of the black church can encourage our siblings in Christ to be better [00:31:00] stewards of our minds and bodies?
[00:31:04] Thomas Warren, Jr.: Yeah. I think, I think we have.
[00:31:09] I think we have to walk the walk and be honest with ourselves. You know, a lot of us, you know, if living as a believer was easy, everybody would do it. If being stress-free and dealing with life’s challenges with easy, you know, we, we would all be. I think we would all be on a high, you never experienced periods of sadness.
[00:31:36] I think that we can be more open by having, you know, community events. We can, we can have more conversations around it, you know, incorporating and acknowledging of course may is mental health month and incorporate that into, into our, maybe in our worst of service or in our communities being an advocate ’cause somebody.
[00:31:55] I believe somebody in every church now is equipped to [00:32:00] do the work to kind of look through those prayer requests, cars, and really have a conversation, you know, Hey, you know I care about you. I noticed that, you know, you said you’ve been struggling. You know, how can I support you? I think the more we get to know a person, the more we’re able to kind of allow them to take the lead.
[00:32:17] And so we’ve come a long way to take a minute how seriously. And I think we have to try starting the conversation about sometime he was something other than mental health. You know, if you worry about a friend that, you know, might be willing, maybe less willing to accept, support about. A mental health issue.
[00:32:32] This typically start by checking in. And I think we do that now by, by praying for one another, asking them how they are, how their social, how their work or their social life is. And just creating a space for that friend, for that member to share and receive the support they need.
[00:32:48] Amberly R. Carter: Absolutely. No. I think about the women who are working in the church, the brothers too, you know, cause we can’t neglect the brothers, they here, but you know, we’re, we’re all working in and [00:33:00] for the church and that work never really stops, you know?
[00:33:04] So like there’s always something going on and sometimes it feels like the same eight people get called or tapped into do the work. And so I know. Now with the pandemic, it seems that anxiety and stress have led to more depression and illness and even death at alarming rates in the black community.
[00:33:24] Right. So how can we, how can people in ministry work, manage their stress and practice more? Self-care
[00:33:32] Thomas Warren, Jr.: absolutely. Yeah. I think for both men and women, women, for sure, you know, women, they, we all know men and women period. I think we have. Understanding of our bodies and take note of what’s really causing our lives, our bodies to be, you know, stressed and like practicing healthy self care strategies know self-care is a big part of it.
[00:33:58] And it’s very [00:34:00] individualized. It’s not a one size fits all type of approach. You have to examine the negative stress signs, you know, those signs and then th these life areas, whether it be spiritual emotional, physical, or spiritual when you, you know, find yourself maybe you know, getting up staying up long periods of time or throughout the night, not getting enough sleep.
[00:34:19] You know, maybe you’re finding yourself not fully committing to the work. We have to be open. And sometimes identifying what the sources of stress is. You know, we think about, you know, physical health, like high blood pressure, you know, diabetes, even obesity you know, just, you know, studies show that women are more prone to stress related weight gain than men.
[00:34:41] And that causes some sadness that causes some, some self esteem to be lowered. Because now we’re not able to make it to. The mission that God has, God has called us to do and the same way with men. And so I think we have to one understand the physical signs of it. The spiritual signs of it as well.
[00:34:57] And often times women may spend more time [00:35:00] meeting the needs of others rather than nurturing their own needs. And so if, if they’re functioning a high stress level, what women may not even recognize what their needs are as well. So. I think people in ministry, you know, we’ve got understand where there’s this communicating with people we’re in the bit being available sometimes.
[00:35:18] And that’s also one of the things that, that boundaries come into play. Cause we all carry, you know, You know, set of boundaries and sometimes it’s not natural for us to set those boundaries to once say, Hey, you know I’m working this, this is my assignment. You know, I’m setting a time to put this together, but after that, I’m going to put my phone on, do not disturb and in 10 to the work that I’m doing.
[00:35:41] And that’s not always an easy thing to do, but it can’t be done. So Yeah.
[00:35:46] Amberly R. Carter: Yeah. It’s very hard to tell, you know, sister Cathy over here, I understand that you have a loved one to pass away and you want to, you know, talk on the phone with me for hours, but I got to make dinner for my kids over here.
[00:35:58] You know, like I can just [00:36:00] imagine that it’s very difficult to say no. Right. And I know that there are a lot of, especially women who work in the church who are dealing with just that with feeling guilt, for setting boundaries. Around their availability and commitments and just all the things. Right. And, and, and how do you take care of self when you know that there’s going to be some, some guilt there, if you say no to someone
[00:36:36] Thomas Warren, Jr.: that, and sometimes, sometimes I can feel on invoice unavoidable. So you want to know how, how can women have that conversation?
[00:36:47] Amberly R. Carter: How do we tell people, you know, this is my boundary and I’m sorry that you’re going through this and grief is hard, but I also have, you know, family and commitment and things that I have to do.
[00:36:59] Thomas Warren, Jr.: [00:37:00] Yeah, absolutely. So, so
[00:37:04] there’s an example of like, instead of saying maybe, Hey, that’s. That’s not something I want to do or, you know, oh, that’s a no, that’s a bogus idea. You try to like use the I statements, you know, I feel, I don’t really like that idea or staying or it’s, they’re saying, you know I, I really want it to help you right now, but I might even do so because they have this going on.
[00:37:28] So really putting yourself in the perspective that, you know, you may feel burnt out because you’re too. You’re showing all your body, your body’s telling you how you need to slow down. Because even even got arrested on a Saturday, you know, me and make that day holy and sometimes. And sometimes we take that as if, oh, I’ve gone from going to church, but he renewed his mind by reflecting on what he created.
[00:37:56] Sometimes he has to do that for ourselves. Is that a requirement to. [00:38:00] Do the work of the ministry 24 7. Absolutely not. Are you expected to be available at every call? Every text at every meeting? That’s a question that you have to answer to yourself, but when you, when you love them, and it’s what I learned kind of early on.
[00:38:16] No. You know, I learned it each time is that when you have a passion for ministry, when you have a passion for serving, be it, you know, you’re the best person in that kitchen. You can make the best potato pie cobbler you can throw down on, you know, in the kitchen or you’re a greeter. Sometimes we get caught up in doing it so much.
[00:38:40] The motions. People would take us off and sometimes we have to have a release release valve or your bus under pressure. So we have to be very assertive, you know, even if it’s the passion, let’s just say you have a calendar and you have a full family, or, you know, you could just be a young adult in and out of college, a young woman [00:39:00] in college, kind of navigating, you know, schoolwork and then trying to be involved.
[00:39:04] You know, there are some key sort of. Which is essentially means to kind of defending yourself in being assertive, not aggressive, but assertive, and really putting yourself and thinking about, you know, your heart and your mindset of it. You know, for example, you say, thanks for thinking of me, but I’m going to say no this time, right?
[00:39:22] They didn’t say you wasn’t interested or not want to be involved. They’re just like this time of my life. I just need a season of rest because you know, it was assignment I listened to awhile back and it was really good. Yeah. I had a, and I watch it in it. I mean, I had to just text it preacher, and he was telling me, yo, you speaking to me and he was talking about the resurrection.
[00:39:44] And it was, it was titled the trauma, the drama after the trauma. And he says something, he said, a lot of us want to rush and get to. I don’t call like Sunday morning. We want to rush to healing. We in a rush and sometimes we, we rush what we’re going through [00:40:00] and want to get to that date, that deadline we want to rush no matter what we’re feeling, we’re going to rush and get there, but we have to slow ourselves now.
[00:40:08] And you’ll notice when you need to slow yourself down is when you may have you’re contemplating even doing ministry ever again. Because we have not fully mastered how to handle and manage our stress. And there’s so many resources out there that I believe guys. As an extension of his ministry to help us to do that.
[00:40:25] And it could be a women’s group, you know, it could be that, and we were attending that to help, but in terms of always being at the forefront, I mean, you know, you’ve got to give yourself self some, some breasts, ladies and men because to be at your full potential to serve God, sometimes it means that you need to break and really getting your clap plays and.
[00:40:48] To renew your mind. It could be meaning, you know, get some couch time and allowing that, you know, professional to address what it is that you’re dealing with our barriers and identifying your shrinks. So you can capitalize off [00:41:00] that but really have to really work to manage and not to be so quick to get there.
[00:41:06] Quick to be an answer to a phone call, to a text, to it, to a date because we deal with so many things going on. And sometimes it feels like we’re by ourselves. And so sometimes it will have the take to finally recognize that I need to, I need to take a step to step back right
[00:41:23] Amberly R. Carter: now. Definitely though, those are some gyms right there.
[00:41:28] Thank you for sharing that. With all this understanding of the care that we need to take for ourselves. Right? Like what does the future of work look like for those of us who work in the church full time, you know, we’ll, we’ll we see like shortened work hours or would there be more emphasis on wellness and taking time for self care?
[00:41:51] Do you believe that.
[00:41:54] Thomas Warren, Jr.: I’m only so many, many people, I think many of us have, have experienced other work from home [00:42:00] and found out that working from home, I felt that, and he worked on my own felt like you’re doing more work than you were doing at the office. Because then, you know, the job was to know that you’re working.
[00:42:08] And, and so, so now I think, you know, in, in, in Texas, I don’t know the Cobra strings and it has less than, than, but, but I think now. We have finally got to some sense of normalcy and, and work in the church has become more innovative, creative. And so it may be, you know, you’re putting probably more time into ministry work than you do working on their job because maybe their job is now working home.
[00:42:39] Or are you working hybrid? But, but on the other hand, that balance beam of church work is weighing heavy. And you’re doing more of that. So I would hope we would see more a balanced, how we’ll hope to see a balance of, of, of work in the church a little time.
[00:42:52] Amberly R. Carter: Yes. And, you know, I just think about it a lot because I know young adults are really changing.
[00:42:59] Like there are [00:43:00] different things. The generations before then, right? They’re not staying in jobs that they feel like are toxic. They’re not staying where they don’t feel that they can bring their full, authentic selves. And I think that we’re going to find ourselves in a pickle. If we don’t make some accommodations for the generation that’s coming behind us and the things that they really want and value like self care and wellness.
[00:43:25] Right?
[00:43:28] Thomas Warren, Jr.: Yeah. Yeah.
[00:43:30] Amberly R. Carter: So we’re approaching the end of our time together. I’m so sad, but you know, I have one final question for you. You know, our brand scripture is Galatians two 20 the life. I now live in the body. I live by faith in the son of God who loved me and gave himself for. Right. So what advice do you have for young adults who are seeking relief from the pressures of the world and have a desire to [00:44:00] transform their minds and bodies?
[00:44:06] Thomas Warren, Jr.: All of you young minds continue to hone in on your skills. Did I miss the opportunity to take feedback? Keep going. And remember your, why I say this in a lot of people know me, I say this you know, remember your why? I believe everybody, even, you know, you know this, we can talk, we can be real. Just the conversation me and you by Amberly.
[00:44:29] I know with you, with the pocket you have going on some days, it does not feel as if you’re doing your best. Right. But you don’t have feel feelings like that. So, yeah. I think it’s important for us comparison keel, right? And as, as young minds, we’re in that period of, of, you know, are we finding isolating?
[00:44:53] Are we finding intimacy? This is a period of, you know, finding our, our, our person to spend the rest of life with. We [00:45:00] also have businesses we want to create. We also see a vision for the church that we’re maybe attending. But sometimes it may not feel like we’re heard and. I say, stay in your lane and continue to hold in, are your skills and do not miss the opportunities to take feedback, keep going and remember your why, because they’re going to be times where your faith is going to be challenged.
[00:45:20] There’s going to be times when a person may not see what you see, but don’t let that be a stop sign. Let that maybe be a yield and pause and reflect on what you believe God would do. Scalia and all you say, you know, consult God in prayer, but be flexible and be active and continue because I guarantee you, somebody, somebody is always watching there’s that one person as, as rooting for you.
[00:45:46] And, and every new experience be a good or bad should be a new experience to challenge you and to hone in on why you’re doing what you’re doing. And because that, you know, because you may [00:46:00] receive Maybe wisdom or maybe even advice that you may not agree with. Our continue to course pray on it, but think of ways you can be creative, you know, besides that.
[00:46:15] Because we have to understand that God has placed. A gift and all of us plays a gift and all of us, no matter how big or small is still yet a gift, and it can contribute to the people in which we communicate with and we worship with and so you’re seeking relief. I would, I would, I’m a huge mental health advocate and I would throw out, you know, therapy is always a good thing.
[00:46:37] Really building community and, and, and supporting each other to check in on people. But comparison keels, try not to compare yourself to what other young people are doing. That’s what other young leaders are doing while the young women are doing, because God has instilled a special gift in each and every one of you and your gift look different.
[00:46:58] Your timing looks different. We can’t [00:47:00] rush him. You can’t rush God in what we’re doing. So, you know, you live by faith in the son of God, right? Who loved me and gave himself for me. So, so we have a reason to live because God died and gave him. The sun. So we may have life internally and we have to keep that in mind that even though we’re not on the other side of yet our mindset and the way we carry out God’s passion and the people he deemed necessary for our life is meant to be used for his glory.
[00:47:25] So always don’t miss the opportunity to take feedback keep going and remember why you’re doing it. And your, wow. We’ll tell you if you’re on the right track.
[00:47:36] Amberly R. Carter: That’s so encouraging. I knew you were the right person to bring on for this episode.
[00:47:42] Thomas Warren, Jr.: Yeah. Just, I, I just, you know, it’s hard out here and you got to keep encouraging each other.
[00:47:46] It’s rough, you know, struggle is real. And so we need jug. We need judgment, free zone. We need a safe place where we’re young women, young man can come and share the perspectives on
[00:47:56] Amberly R. Carter: life. Yeah. So tell my audience where they can find [00:48:00] them.
[00:48:01] Thomas Warren, Jr.: Oh, okay. Yeah, if I’m RG at T1 93 as well Twitter, I’m on Twitter as well.
[00:48:07] LT 1 93, as well as on Facebook. Facebook as well as looking at just a regular name if you want to tap into open mic night, just connect with me on those social media handles. And you’ll be, you’ll be linked to what God is doing at the City View church. So those are some easy ways you can, you can reach out to me.
[00:48:23] I’m audit, checking messages quite often taking a little break. Now I’m a little fast, so I can hear God’s voice and, and prepare for an upcoming exam I have to take before for my counseling. So, but those ways you can do.
[00:48:38] Amberly R. Carter: And ain’t nothing wrong with that. Right? Nothing wrong with wrist. And that’s that on that y’all so thank you so very much for joining us in this episode and we can’t wait to see what you do next.
[00:48:51] Thomas Warren, Jr.: Oh man. I started about it. Yeah. Keep me prayed up. Thank you so much. I can’t really, again, for this podcast or this opportunity and I bless you in what you’re doing [00:49:00]
[00:49:01] Amberly R. Carter: and we’ll be praying for you as well. Thank you. Thank you so much. So that’s that, that’s it for this episode now is the time to subscribe because in our very next episode, I will have a major announcement you won’t want to miss until then check out the show notes.
[00:49:20] If you want to check in with Thomas Warren Jr. And his young adult ministry with open mic night, go follow Thomas on Instagram and Facebook. All of his information will be in the show notes. Thank you so much for listening to this episode. If you loved it, take a screenshot and share it on Instagram and Facebook and tag us both.
[00:49:41] I can’t wait to connect with you in the next episode.
Coach FaithFitBeauty
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